just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
