This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
