come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize