The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
