it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
