Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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