You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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