First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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