I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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