so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
