Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
