was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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