He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
