yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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