is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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