I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Randomize
