Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I take back everything I said about communal showers
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
