What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
home. puking in laundry basket.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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