I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
