Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
