windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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