if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Ladies don't puke and tell
This can only be settled by a dance off.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
