you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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