Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
