I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I enjoy the company of your penis
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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