There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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