i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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