Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I just googled if crying burns calories
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
