Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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