You work out of a Hotel?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
