just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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