My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
