You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
