My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
