And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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