She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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