She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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