I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
