Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
