pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We left the knife in your bed.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Let's get the cat blown out
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
