it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
im about as happy as oj after his trial
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
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