is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
