Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
