very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
