Im at strip club and am horny
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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