I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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