There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
