I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
