This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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