i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
