I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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