This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
