I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
