haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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