It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize