new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Randomize