You made me cry and you don't even care
Your face is a jimmy john
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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