Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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