My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm too high and old for this...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize