i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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