So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
