I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
