he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
