I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
